Waste

by Nathan Allebach

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about

Waste is all about separation, doubting, anxiety, and other forms of loss. It tells ten stories I've written over the past five years involving relationships, worldview, the church, and overall internal experiences.

My hope is that you leave this album with more questions than answers and you can gain some solidarity for your own story through listening to mine.

- Nathan

credits

released July 12, 2016

Recorded live at Philly Sound Studios with overdubs recorded at Woodbrook Recording and Cathouse.

Engineered and Mixed by Robby Webb
Mastered by Ryan Schwabe
Produced by Nathan Allebach, Robby Webb, and the band
Artwork by Nathan Allebach

Vocals/Electric Guitar - Nathan Allebach
Lead Electric Guitar - Matthew Sharayko
Drums - Kyle Sheva
Bass - Tyler McMaster
Piano - Vinnie Lupoli
Vocals - Desiree Koch
Keyboards - Kat Stein

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license

all rights reserved

about

Nathan Allebach Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Raised in the Philly suburbs, Nathan Allebach's songwriting is rooted in the grounds of religious tension, loss, love, and growing up.

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Track Name: When I Wake Up
WHEN I WAKE UP

OH, I KNOW WHEN I WAKE UP,
THE SADDEST SONGS WILL PLAY,
‘CAUSE I KNOW THAT I TAKE LOVE,
AND THAT IT’S WRONG TO TAKE MORE THAN I MAKE.
AND I CAN’T CHANGE, I CAN’T CHANGE MY WAYS,
BUT I HOPE WHEN I WAKE UP,
YOU SEE MY INTENTIONS, NOT MY MISTAKES.

A BETTER MAN’S STUCK IN MY HEAD
AND NEVER CAN FIND THE EXIT
EVERY DAY I LOOK FOR HIM
BUT HE STAYS INSIDE AND KEEPS QUIET.

OH, I KNOW WHEN I WAKE UP,
THE GOVERNMENTS WON’T CHANGE,
‘CAUSE I KNOW THAT IT’S ALL JUST
FURNITURE THAT CULTURES REARRANGE.
THE MARK I MADE, MARK I MADE WILL FADE,
BUT I HOPE WHEN I WAKE UP,
THE LIFE I LED MEANT MORE THAN THIS CHARADE.

A BETTER MAN’S STUCK IN MY HEAD
AND NEVER CAN FIND THE EXIT
EVERY DAY I LOOK FOR HIM
BUT HE STAYS INSIDE AND KEEPS QUIET.

OH, I KNOW WHEN I WAKE UP,
THE CHURCH WILL TURN AWAY,
‘CAUSE I KNOW THAT I AM ONE
TO DENY YOU AT LEAST THREE TIMES EACH DAY.
BUT IN YOUR GRACE, IN YOUR GRACE I STAY.
AND I HOPE WHEN I WAKE UP,
MY PRIDE WILL HAVE TURNED TO HUMILITY,
WITH MORE OF YOU, GOD, AND MUCH LESS OF ME.
Track Name: Alone With You
ALONE WITH YOU


NOW I KNOW WHY I’VE BEEN SO ANXIOUS
‘CAUSE WHENEVER YOU’RE AROUND, I CAN’T TRUST MYSELF
WITH ALL THE WINDOWS IN MY HOUSE OPEN.

SO I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE WITH YOU,
NO, I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE WITH YOU.
IT'S TAKING ALL I HAVE TO KEEP YOU OUT OF MY HEAD
SO I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE WITH YOU.

NOW I KNOW WHY MY MIND’S UNEASY
‘CAUSE WHENEVER YOU’RE AROUND, I CAN’T TRUST MYSELF
WITH ALL MY BAD HABITS AND TENDENCIES.

SO I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE WITH YOU,
NO, I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE WITH YOU.
IT'S TAKING ALL I HAVE TO KEEP YOU OUT OF MY HEAD
SO I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE WITH YOU.

OH, I HAVE LOST CONTROL (OH) THIS TIME
OH, I JUST WANT YOU TO GO (OH) OUTSIDE.
BUT I DON’T WANNA BE ALONE TONIGHT,
NO, I DON’T WANNA BE ALONE…

I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE WITH YOU,
BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE
I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE WITH YOU
OR MAYBE I DO.
Track Name: The Nationalism Gospel
THE NATIONALISM GOSPEL


WHEN WILL THE CHURCH BE THE FRIEND
THE EARTH NEEDS AGAIN?
WHEN?

WHEN WILL THE WEAK HAVE JUSTICE
AND THE BOMBS STOP FALLING?
WHEN?

GOD IS LOVE AND LOVE IS GOD
NOT A BUSINESS OR PRESIDENT.

WHEN WILL AMERICAN CHRISTIANS
STOP WORSHIPPING REVENGE?
WHEN?

BECAUSE GOD IS LOVE AND LOVE IS GOD
NOT AN ENGINE FOR YOUR GUNS.

THIS CLUB OF RELIGION
KEEPS USING THE TRUTH AS A WEAPON
THESE OLD POLITICIANS
WITH NO GRACE LEFT IN THEIR HEARTS
THEY PREACH ABOUT JESUS
BUT CHERRY-PICK ALL OF HIS TEACHINGS
TO KEEP THE MACHINE UP AND RUNNING
WHILE THE LEAST STARVE.

THEN THEY SAY, GOD IS LOVE AND LOVE IS GOD
(BUT THEY’RE LIARS)
‘CAUSE GOD IS LOVE AND LOVE IS GOD
AND THAT MEANS GOOD NEWS
FOR ALL OF US.
Track Name: Medals
MEDALS


THEY SAY THAT TRUE LOVE WAITS, BUT MY BODY SLEPT AROUND
WITH EVERY NEW PRETTY FACE I GOT ANOTHER NOTCH IN MY BELT
THE YEARS I BRAGGED ABOUT BEDS FINALLY SANK IN MY CHEST
HEAVY LADEN.

I DON’T WANT THESE MEDALS,
HANGING AROUND MY BEDPOST,
ANYMORE, OH, OH, OH, ANYMORE.

OVER AND OVER I TOSS AND I TURN,
STUCK THINKING ABOUT LESSONS I CAN’T LEARN, I CAN’T LEARN.
ALL THE WOMEN I’VE OBJECTIFIED
WITH THIS ADDICTION TO BEING INSIDE
OF SOME SKIN EACH NIGHT.

I DON’T WANT THESE MEDALS,
HANGING AROUND MY BEDPOST,
ANYMORE, OH, OH, OH, ANYMORE.

ALL OF THE SEX AND ALL OF THE GOLD
ALL I HAVE KEPT AND ALL I HAVE STOLE
CAN’T FILL THIS GOD SHAPED HOLE
THIS HALLOWED SONG PLAYS IN MY HEAD
THIS LUST IN MY BONES FOR STATUS AND SKIN
JUST MAKES ME WANT TO LAY IT ALL TO REST
(REST, REST, REST)

I DON’T WANT THESE MEDALS,
HANGING AROUND MY BEDPOST,
ANYMORE, OH, OH, OH, ANYMORE.
Track Name: Every Worry
EVERY WORRY


INSIDE MY WORRIES WHISPER THAT I’LL LOSE ALL MY FRIENDS
IF I KEEP GROWING OLDER, MY STORIES WON’T STAY RELEVANT
IF I PUT A RING ON, I WON’T LIVE UP TO THE TASK.

‘CAUSE I DIDN’T QUITE TURN OUT TO FAMILY EXPECTATIONS
NEVER REALLY LEARNED HOW TO BITE MY PRIDE AND FAKE IT
EVENTUALLY I FOUND OUT I’D NEVER OWN A WHITE PICKET FENCE.

BUT I'M LETTING ALL OF THAT GO
EVERY WORRY IN MY MIND, EVERY GODDAMN GHOST
I'M LETTING ALL OF THAT GO
EVERY WORRY, EVERY WORRY THAT I CAN’T CONTROL

GOD KNOWS I’M A CYNIC AND GOD KNOWS I’M A DOUBTER
I QUIT BEFORE I FINISH, I WASTE AWAY MY HOURS
PAINTING UP MY IMAGE TO LOOK LIKE I’VE GOT IT FIGURED OUT.

BUT I'M LETTING ALL OF THAT GO
EVERY WORRY IN MY MIND, EVERY GODDAMN GHOST
I'M LETTING ALL OF THAT GO
EVERY WORRY, EVERY WORRY THAT I CAN’T CONTROL
Track Name: Alright
ALRIGHT


I WANNA BE THE ONE YOU GO TO SLEEP WITH EVERY NIGHT
I WANNA BE THE ONE YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH WITH EVERY NIGHT.

AND WHEN YOU WAKE UP
YOU’LL KNOW YOU’RE ALRIGHT
YOU’RE ALRIGHT.

TALKIN’ IS CHEAP, I’LL SHOW YOU THAT I SHOW UP EVERY TIME
WALKIN’ WITH ME, I’LL GO WITH YOU WHEREVER THE ROAD WINDS.

AND WHEN YOU WAKE UP
YOU’LL KNOW YOU’RE ALRIGHT

SO,
LETS DRIVE ANOTHER MILE
TAKE ANOTHER DRAG
SING ANOTHER SONG
FOR ANOTHER DAY
WATCH ANOTHER SHOW
DRINK ANOTHER GLASS
KICK IT WITH OUR FRIENDS
CRY UNTIL WE LAUGH.

AND WHEN WE WAKE UP…

WE’LL KNOW WE’RE ALRIGHT
AND WHEN WE WAKE UP,
WE’LL KNOW WE’RE ALRIGHT
WE’LL KNOW WE’RE ALRIGHT
WE’LL KNOW WE’RE ALRIGHT
WE’RE ALRIGHT
WE’RE ALRIGHT
WE’RE ALRIGHT
Track Name: Does Love Really Win?
DOES LOVE REALLY WIN?


THE FLOW OF TIME IS CRUEL
HOW IT GOES ON BY JUST LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
INDIFFERENT TO ALL US PASSING THROUGH
I STILL REMEMBER WHEN I HAD TO BURY MY BEST FRIEND
PRAYING TIME WOULD BRING HIM HOME AGAIN.

THERE’S PART OF YOU I STILL CARRY AROUND
FROM ALL WE WENT THROUGH IN THIS TOWN
WHY’D YOU HAVE TO GO? I DON’T KNOW…
BUT I MISS YOU NOW.

THIS EXISTENTIAL ANGST
CREPT INSIDE MY COOKIE CUTTER FAITH
ONCE I SAW THE ETCHING OF YOUR NAME
GOD, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
ARE WE ALONE IN OUR SUFFERING?
THE QUESTIONS I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED ASKING.

THERE’S PART OF YOU I STILL CARRY AROUND
FROM ALL WE WENT THROUGH IN THIS TOWN
WHY’D YOU HAVE TO GO? I DON’T KNOW…
BUT I MISS YOU NOW.

DOES LOVE REALLY WIN IN THE END?
DOES LOVE REALLY WIN?

WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN?
Track Name: Gypsies
GYPSIES


WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION HOW IT’S ALWAYS BEEN?
IS WHAT I WAS TOLD BACK WHEN I WAS A KID
AND I’VE BEEN RUNNING EVER SINCE

NOW I KNOW THAT I CAN BE LIKE THE GYPSIES ON THE STREET
I KNOW THAT I CAN BE JUST AS LOST AS ANYBODY
WHEN I LOOK FOR LOVE TO FILL UP WHAT MY SOUL’S MISSING.

THROUGH THESE BINARY VIEWS THEY SAY I’LL FIND YOU
THEY SAY I’LL ALIGN MYSELF WITH THE TRUTH
BUT THAT DON’T SOUND TOO MUCH LIKE GOOD NEWS, NO

I KNOW THAT I CAN BE LIKE THE GYPSIES ON THE STREET
I KNOW THAT I CAN BE JUST AS LOST AS ANYBODY
WHEN I LOOK FOR LOVE TO FILL UP WHAT MY SOUL’S MISSING

WE KEEP MEASURING AND WE ALL KEEP ON PLAYING
FOR THE TEAMS THAT ALREADY
AFFIRM THE THINGS THAT WE BELIEVE

AND I KNOW THAT WE CAN ALL BE
LIKE THE GYPSIES ON THE STREET
I KNOW THAT WE CAN BE JUST AS LOST AS ANYBODY
WHEN WE LOOK FOR LOVE, WHEN WE’RE ON THE RUN
I KNOW WE’LL FIND OUR WAY BACK HOME
WHEN WE LOOK FOR LOVE
TO FILL UP WHAT OUR SOUL’S MISSING
Track Name: Caught Me Running
CAUGHT ME RUNNING


I WAS MISSING MY EX AND HOLDING YOUR HAND
TRAPPED BETWEEN THE WRECKAGE I MADE.
WE WERE SINGING AT THAT SHOW HOW SAN FRANCISCO
SOUNDED QUITE LOVELY, BUT HAD TO WAIT NOW ‘CAUSE

YOU CAUGHT ME RUNNING, CAUGHT ME RUNNING,
CAUGHT ME RUNNING OUT OF YOUR HOUSE
‘CAUSE I LEFT MY LOVING, LEFT MY LOVING,
LEFT MY LOVING WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

SO I TORE UP THE BED TRYING TO FIND IT
WHILE SHE DANCED AROUND MY MIND
BUT IT WAS SUCH A MESS AND YOU DIDN’T DESERVE THIS
I SAID I WAS FINE, FINE, FINE, A THOUSAND TIMES AND THEN…

YOU CAUGHT ME RUNNING, CAUGHT ME RUNNING,
CAUGHT ME RUNNING OUT OF YOUR HOUSE
‘CAUSE I LEFT MY LOVING, LEFT MY LOVING,
LEFT MY LOVING WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

I WAS NAKED I WAS BLIND
I COULDN’T MAKE UP MY DAMN MIND
NOW I KNOW THAT IT WAS TIME
BUT LOVE IS PATIENT LOVE IS KIND
LOVE WILL LET GO WHEN IT’S TIME
NOW I KNOW THAT IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO BE ALONE.

YOU CAUGHT ME RUNNING, YOU CAUGHT ME RUNNING,
YOU CAUGHT ME RUNNING FROM MYSELF.
Track Name: Waste
WASTE


THESE NIGHTS I CAN’T SLEEP
‘CAUSE MY BED HAUNTS ME
I’M SCROLLING AIMLESSLY THROUGH MY PHONE
PUTTING PAIN OFF I CAN’T LET GO.

NOW I COUNT THE COST
OF HOURS I HAVE LOST
THE YEARS I HATED WORKING THAT JOB
WHEN I WAS JADED AND CURSING GOD.

ALL THAT TIME TURNED TO WASTE
EVERY MOMENT AND MISTAKE
ALL THAT TIME TURNED TO WASTE
HOW CAN I CARRY ALL IT’S WEIGHT (NOW)?

AND WHERE ARE ALL MY FRIENDS?
I GUESS I’VE LOST THEM
NO ONE TOLD ME I’D FEEL SO ALONE
AT TWENTY-FOUR WITH NOTHING TO SHOW.

ALL THAT TIME TURNED TO WASTE
EVERY MOMENT AND MISTAKE
ALL THAT TIME TURNED TO WASTE
HOW CAN I CARRY ALL IT’S WEIGHT?

I CAN’T CARRY IT ON MY OWN,
I CAN’T CARRY IT, I CAN’T CARRY IT ON MY OWN,
SO I GIVE IT UP, I GIVE IT UP, I GIVE IT…